What to do with a million lemons (give or take a few thousand.)

Most of us love them.

Most of us can never find them when we want them. Lemons have many uses, they are great.

What does one do when the lemon tree bears so many that it is impossible to use them all before they spoil?

I have this problem right now. My freezer is still full of squeezed lemon juice from last year. I have been eating everything lemon for the past year and now they are back, the lemons, they are here to taunt me, they are here to drive me insane.

I have been asking people if they would like some lemons, they always reply “no thanks”.

I have taken boxes of them to the local shops and op shops in the hope that they might let people take what they need for free. None of them seem very interested. All they want to do is make money. They don’t encourage people to leave things that are free. Whatever happened to the spirit of giving.

Lemons are over $7 a kilogram in the supermarkets. People buy them for that price. My lemons are free. My lemons are organic, my lemons are freshly picked right here in Australia. They are not imported. The lemons in the supermarkets are usually imported.

I have made, lemon scones, lemon muffins, lemon meringue pie, lemon marmalade, lemon delicious pudding, lemon curd, lemonade, lemon sauce, preserved lemons, pickled lemons, lemon brownie, lemon cake, lemon tart. Yes it is very tart. Lemon mousse, lemon jelly, the list goes on.

I have squeezed them, I have thrown them for the dogs to fetch, I have buried them, I have rubbed the juice on my hands, it is supposed to be good for the skin.

I have dreamed about them, I have had nightmares about them, I don’t want them. Nobody wants them. They are free, how come nobody wants them.

I bet people in the city would want them. I bet the people in the city would kill for free lemons. Why can’t the government supply free transport to the city for all of my unwanted lemons. That would be a good thing. That would be the answer. Perhaps I should lobby the Government for free transport for all the poor unwanted lemons in the country.

Maybe I should just chop down my lemon tree and then I would not feel so bad about the wastage. It is a crying shame, it really is.