The other day, I was casually feeding the kookaburras and enjoying the lovely warm sunshine up here at Noosa.

The magpies came for their share as well.

It really is a peaceful way to spend an hour or two.

Pretty soon that peace was shattered by my phone beeping loudly. A message came through.

It was from a woman asking me if I could make her a beanie.

No worries I told her. I asked her to measure her head circumference so I could make one to fit her.

She duly messaged me back telling me that her head was 60 inches around.

My mind boggled when I read that. A 60 inch head.

Are you sure I asked her. That seems a little large.

Oh yes she replied. It is 60 inches around.

I could not come to grips with this information so asked her again to measure it very carefully.

At this stage she seemed to be a little peeved but came back with the 60 inches.

That is correct she told me .

I have a large head because I am really brainy. I am highly intellegent she said.

Well, who am I to argue with that logic.

Ok I told her. I will have it done in a couple of days.

I am pretty certain she would have had a 60 centimetre head.

Even that measurement is quite large for a woman.

I could not come to grips with the thought of a head with a circumference of 5 feet. Really, in all honesty, I don’t think anyone could even imagine such a sight.

Being one with a warped sense of humour, I got thinking of the ramifications of some one with a 5 foot head circumference.

To make a beanie of those proportions I would need to arrange a bank loan just to buy enough wool to complete the task.

I would also need to do some serious mathematical calculations to get the fit right.

Maybe an elephant as a model. An elephants head would be a similar size I reckon.

Maybe that would even be a bit small.

How on earth would a head that size fit through a normal doorway.

It would not. What kind of house would such a person live in.

No amount of squeezing would make that gigantic noggin fit through any standard doorway.

What about the sleeping arrangements.

A double bed is 4′ 6″. That would leave an overflow of 3 inches either side.

Certainly no room for two in that bed. I think one would be destined to a lonely life.

No going on buses trains or planes either. That head would not fit.

Enough of that now.

I shall get my wool and crochet hook out and start on the beanie. 60 cms it will be.

I am sure even that will be too large.

For all you mathematical geniuses out there, I realise that 5 feet circumference is not 5 feet diameter but just took the liberty of allowing my thoughts to wander.