The other day, I was casually feeding the kookaburras and enjoying the lovely warm sunshine up here at Noosa.
The magpies came for their share as well.
It really is a peaceful way to spend an hour or two.
Pretty soon that peace was shattered by my phone beeping loudly. A message came through.
It was from a woman asking me if I could make her a beanie.
No worries I told her. I asked her to measure her head circumference so I could make one to fit her.
She duly messaged me back telling me that her head was 60 inches around.
My mind boggled when I read that. A 60 inch head.
Are you sure I asked her. That seems a little large.
Oh yes she replied. It is 60 inches around.
I could not come to grips with this information so asked her again to measure it very carefully.
At this stage she seemed to be a little peeved but came back with the 60 inches.
That is correct she told me .
I have a large head because I am really brainy. I am highly intellegent she said.
Well, who am I to argue with that logic.
Ok I told her. I will have it done in a couple of days.
I am pretty certain she would have had a 60 centimetre head.
Even that measurement is quite large for a woman.
I could not come to grips with the thought of a head with a circumference of 5 feet. Really, in all honesty, I don’t think anyone could even imagine such a sight.
Being one with a warped sense of humour, I got thinking of the ramifications of some one with a 5 foot head circumference.
To make a beanie of those proportions I would need to arrange a bank loan just to buy enough wool to complete the task.
I would also need to do some serious mathematical calculations to get the fit right.
Maybe an elephant as a model. An elephants head would be a similar size I reckon.
Maybe that would even be a bit small.
How on earth would a head that size fit through a normal doorway.
It would not. What kind of house would such a person live in.
No amount of squeezing would make that gigantic noggin fit through any standard doorway.
What about the sleeping arrangements.
A double bed is 4′ 6″. That would leave an overflow of 3 inches either side.
Certainly no room for two in that bed. I think one would be destined to a lonely life.
No going on buses trains or planes either. That head would not fit.
Enough of that now.
I shall get my wool and crochet hook out and start on the beanie. 60 cms it will be.
I am sure even that will be too large.
For all you mathematical geniuses out there, I realise that 5 feet circumference is not 5 feet diameter but just took the liberty of allowing my thoughts to wander.